Fruit of the Spirit: GENTLENESS

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.” — Galatians 5:22–23

Almost three months ago, my husband's brother and sister-in-law had their first baby. A precious little girl who is not only their first child, but also the first grandchild, niece, and cousin.

My husband and I had the privilege of meeting this little baby the day after she was born. We all had the chance to hold her. In that hospital room, I watched how carefully she was passed around, how intentional her parents were with making sure she was held properly, and I heard the words from my husband, “This is the first baby I've ever held.”

The room stayed quiet for her, not wanting to accidentally startle or upset her. When she was in our arms, we remained frozen so as not to wake her. Our touches were light and tender.

I remember looking over at my husband (fiancé at the time) and thinking the word: gentle, and then: gentleman.

What does it mean to be a gentleman? I first think about manners such as holding a door open, saying “please” and “thank you,” or letting someone else go first. Oftentimes, we can consider gentleness to be a characteristic seen in timid or shy women, but it's actually seen in that honorable word: gentleman, shown in Jesus.

The truth is, gentleness is actually a strength. Instead of being a weakness, gentleness is rooted in humility, sensitivity, and consideration for those around you. It is strength surrendered to God. It's having the power to react harshly, speak carelessly, or demand our own way, but choosing to respond with humility instead.

Jesus is our example of this, and gentleness wouldn't be one of the fruits of the Spirit if it wasn't a character trait that we are supposed to take away from Him.

Scripture tells us in Isaiah 53:2, “He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to Him, nothing in His appearance that we should desire Him.”

This is the description of Jesus, the incarnate God. According to this passage, there was nothing flashy about His appearance. His authority didn't come from outward impressiveness, but from who He truly was.

Jesus calls us to respond to the gentleness He shows by showing the same gentleness.

“Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” — Matthew 11:29

Jesus was also called gentle in Matthew 21:5: “Say to Daughter Zion, ‘See, your king comes to you, gentle and riding on a donkey, and on a colt, the foal of a donkey.’”

Although Jesus was gentle, He was never passive. His gentleness didn't stop Him from being direct, confronting sin, or taking action when it was needed. He overturned tables in the temple, challenged hypocrisy, and spoke truth boldly. His gentleness wasn't the absence of strength, but it strength that was perfect under God’s control.

As humans, we have a lot of power. We can choose actions and words that harm or help. Being called to gentleness means recognizing that the will of God is above our own. It is to humbly realize that the way we live is ridden with sin and that we fall short. It is to humbly realize that our worldviews are shaped by exposure to sin.  It is to accept God's worldview, reflecting His truth. It is choosing actions and words that help expand the Lord’s kingdom.

“If our hearts condemn us, we know that God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything.” — 1 John 3:20

Our God is all-knowing. He knows everything of the past, the present, and the future. When we lean into His overwhelming knowledge and guidance, we can begin to grow in the fruit of gentleness. Trusting that His way is better than ours changes how we treat the people around us.

This fruit calls us to correct others with kindness, without arguing out of resentment. Paul writes in Galatians 6:1 that when someone is caught in sin, they should be restored gently. Even when hard conversations need to happen, gentleness should shape how we speak.

Now, this can be difficult, especially in trying situations. When we are tested with impatience or anger, gentleness is not our natural sinful tendency. I know that I begin to speak out harshly, using sarcasm or unkind words. But Proverbs 15:1 reminds us that “a gentle answer turns away wrath.” Gentleness doesn't mean avoiding truth; it means considering how we deliver it.

The harsh responses and quickness to anger attitude is not the gentle nature that Jesus modeled, nor the one He wants us to resemble either. Jesus was kingdom-focused. We are called to have the same mindset. His Spirit within us enables us to respond to situations and speak in ways that are set apart from the world.

This doesn't mean that we don't speak out when there is injustice, or when there is a friend or family member who is not living aligned with Christ. It means we speak carefully, lovingly, clearly, and in a way that honors Christ.

When I think back to holding my little niece for the first time, I realize none of us handled her gently because she was powerful. We handled her gently because we recognized how precious she was. We are called to view the people around us the same way. Every conversation is an opportunity to reflect the heart of Jesus. 

Lord, teach us to be gentle as You are gentle. Help us to speak with kindness, respond with humility, and love others with patience. When we are tempted to react harshly, remind us to surrender our strength to You. Let Your Spirit grow gentleness in us each day.

Amen.