Disconnect to Reconnect
In this last month I found myself struggling with high anxiety and depression. It felt as if I couldn’t get a grasp of everything happening around me. The stress of my wedding coming up and the stress of my family unable to attend, really took a toll on me. Unable to control the situation, as a form of comfort I started to distract myself with social media and phone games. Anything that will numb me from what I was feeling, since that was the only thing I felt in control of. Though I was keeping myself occupied, deep down I knew it wouldn’t make anything better.
All this distracting began to slowly distance me from the Lord. Now my comfort became my phone. Every spare moment I had alone in my thoughts, I unconsciously would hop on Instagram and scroll through the newsfeed or play games until I fell asleep. This became an unhealthy pattern I was very much aware of, but even then… I couldn’t find myself to do anything about it. I started to notice that I was overeating, unable to fall asleep at night and even if I got enough sleep, I was still tired and was easily irritated.
One evening, as me and my fiancé were going over our wedding plans, we got into a small disagreement. (Thank goodness for a forgiving and patient man!) Sometimes in the moment we don’t realize that when we distract ourselves, our problems get bottled up. Eventually you’ll have to come face to face with these things. (Basically, you become a human ticking bomb.) I ended up breaking down and confessing to my fiancé about how I have been feeling, to which he held me and asked if we could pray together.
“Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28)
Long story short, I was hesitant because I’ve been distant from God and felt convicted. But in my heart I knew I needed to pray. When I prayed, God revealed to me all that I’ve been burying deep down. I felt Him telling me to TRULY surrender myself, to surrender my want for control, to surrender all the things I was using to distract myself from problems. So I did! I deleted anything on my phone that was distracting and limited my phone time usage.
These past two months has been the strongest my relationship has ever been with Jesus! I can truly say, He’s healed me from depression. A miracle I can’t explain! He’s given me a new passion and has shown me a deeper love. All it took was eliminating the distractions and surrendering control. Sometimes we need to DISCONNECT TO RECONNECT with JESUS!
“Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.” (Romans 12:2 NLT)
Questions to ponder:
Are there distractions in your life preventing you from growing a deeper relationship with Christ?
If so, what do you need to disconnect from in order to reconnect with God?
