His Purpose
Have you ever felt like you had no purpose? No sense of direction in life? Feeling empty and stuck in one place? Living your same old routines? That’s exactly how I felt before Christ. My life is like the Bible itself! The Old Testament, life before Jesus and the New Testament, life with Jesus. Here with my story, I pray you can relate in some way and find peace about your purpose and in trusting God with your plans.
Read these verses and keep it in mind; “Why would you ever complain, O Jacob, or, whine, Israel, saying, “ GOD has lost track of me. He doesn’t care what happens to me”? Don’t you know anything? Haven’t you been listening? GOD doesn’t come and go. God lasts. He’s Creator of all you can see or imagine. He doesn’t get tired out, doesn’t pause to catch his breath. And he knows everything, inside and out. He energizes those who get tired, gives fresh strength to dropouts. For even young people tire and drop out, young folk in their prime stumble and fall. But those who wait upon GOD get fresh strength. They spread their wings and soar like eagles, They run and don’t get tired, they walk and don’t lag behind.”
(Isaiah 40:27-31 MSG)
Before I came to Christ, I was stuck in life. Let me explain that short and simple phrase, I lived to live and had no sense of direction. I thought life was about trying to find my “happiness”, or so as society has engraved into my head and many others. I thought life’s purpose was finding “yourself”. This “purpose” made me feel empty. In the process of trying to find myself, I felt stuck in one place. I was doing the same old things every day. I felt like I had no purpose, but I knew in my heart I wanted to do more and be more.
Here’s my life before Christ, fast forward to 18 years old. I had just dropped out of college after my first year because I wasn’t ready. I just got out of a serious relationship and I didn’t know what was next for me. All I knew was I really wanted to love and be loved! (There was a lot of insecurity due to my past, but that’s a story for another time.) I instantly jumped into a new relationship after a month out of the other one. This one was toxic! This toxic boyfriend at the time knew I was really vulnerable and insecure. He used my broken past to reel me back in every time I tried to leave. It got really bad with him, there was cheating, a broken windshield, stalking, and a lot of red flags. (To be clear, none of which I caused or done.) At that point, I was at my lowest and I was only 19 years old. I felt empty and confused. I hated myself for what I had put myself through. After breaking that emotional attachment with that toxic boy, with the help and comfort of my sisters and new friends. (I called them my Jesus friends because they were my only Christian friends.) I now know of Jesus, but I wasn’t ready or in the right mindset to start that journey.
Let’s fast forward this to 20 years old. I’m now casually dating, partying, and drinking. That’s all I ever did with my friends. I worked a serving job and felt empty. It was fun at the time, but I was still feeling stuck. I had dreams, I had goals, but I never moved. I got too comfortable, but life still felt empty and I didn’t love myself. That was when I had a wake-up call at 21 years old. Partying didn’t phase me anymore, the love of a man felt unnecessary, and drinking became a glass of wine once in a while. I took a year to myself. (I’m not telling everyone to do this, but it helped me.) I focused on myself. It led me to drift away from all my friends, but I needed to grow up. I got into fitness, painting, and started spending a lot of my time with family. I started to get a sense of who I was and began to take care of myself, but there was still something missing. I still didn’t have much love for myself. I still didn’t have a sense of direction or purpose. I still felt empty in some way.
I’m now 22 years old. I had just gotten reconnected with old friends, my Jesus friends. It sparked something in my heart and curiosity of what if this is the answer?
What if that missing piece is God?
Let’s just say, I didn’t hesitate to dive right in. As nervous as I was, my friends first introduced me to a church. I reached out to some of my Jesus friends for advice on how to begin this relationship with God. My first year in Christ was a roller coaster of emotions, self-reflecting, doubt, and a lot of prayer.
Jeremiah 29:12-13 “In those days when you pray, I will listen. If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me.”
(Fast forward to the present!)
After coming to Christ and living in Christ. It’s been almost 2 years now. I’m 23 years old and my life has changed drastically. God has blessed me with so many opportunities this past year and pushed me out of my comfort zone. I used to think my “purpose” was to find myself and seek my happiness.
God opened my eyes, as I gave up my plans for His. (It wasn’t easy.) I’ve learned that life is about living like Jesus! Loving like Jesus, forgiving like Jesus, bringing glory to God's name like Jesus!
Before I had no sense of direction, but God held my hand and showed me where to go. I was hesitant to trust Him… selfishly I wanted to know everything and weigh out the pros and cons beforehand. (We’re all guilty of that.) God kept telling me to trust Him! I was scared and didn’t want to step out of my comfort zone, but God gave me the strength to let my guard down. I faithfully chose to trust God with His plans for me, whether comfortable or not I was going to do it for His glory, not mine. It’s been the best decision I’ve ever made! Remember the verses I told you to keep in mind? I know it can be hard to trust God not knowing the end results. The reason why I told you to keep this verse in mind is that God cares about you so much and He would never neglect you. He has a plan for you. He has a plan for all of us, but we must trust Him and lay down our plans for His.
As the lyrics say in “Take Courage” by Bethel Music and Kristene DiMarco. This song always gets to me. Sometimes I get overwhelmed by my own thoughts and doubts. (If you haven’t heard this song yet, I encourage you to listen to it after you’re finished reading.) God reminds me to “slow down, take time, breath in He said, He'd reveal what's to come, the thoughts in His mind, always higher than mine, He'll reveal all to come.” God is in the waiting and He’s never failing!
Take me for example, my life was unorganized and I was stuck in a pit. Trusting God with His plans for me, great things have happened! That church I was introduced to at the beginning is now like my second family! I’ve met so many amazing people through One Reason Church, like the amazingly talented Rebecca Martin here on Boldly Seeking! When I prayed to God to use me to help others in need. The very next day God gave me an opportunity to volunteer at a place that helps women and children from abusive homes. I asked God what next, as He led me on a mission trip to Haiti, providing all the funds through gracious donations to reassure me that that was His next plan for me. It was life-changing and eye-opening. Now what God? He aligned school to work around my mission trip. I asked God, “What do you want me to go to school for?” He asked me what I loved to do most. I said, “Help people.” He then placed on my heart, nursing. I just finished my second semester. Before I didn’t know my purpose in life, but now I do! My purpose is to live my life for God's purpose, I now have a sense of direction with my Shepherd guiding me. God loves me so much, He opened my eyes to loving myself and seeing my worth. He helped me grow in so many areas and now I’m constantly striving to do more and be more for Him. God just keeps placing more opportunities in my path and He’ll do it for you too if you just let Him. Just over a year ago, I didn’t have a relationship with God and now I’m in love with God. Who would have thought 2 years ago I’d be here now, co-leader of a ladies study group, a co-creator here on Boldly seeking, and engaged to a Godly man. It all happened when I stopped keeping God in the waiting and started living for His purpose.
Jeremiah 29:11 NLT “For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.”
