Taking Up and Letting Go
We are in an age of trial. What do I mean by that? I mean that we are collectively going through a hardship. We are surrounded by things that are not in our control and that affects us in an individual way. I can only share from my own experience. I don’t feel super comfortable sharing all the details but I do want to speak on something we have likely all been faced with: looking back.
When stuck with our own thoughts, where are we more likely to look: ahead or back? Ahead is unknown. It is time left unscheduled. It is canceled events or concern over everything that is now at the mercy of something out of our control. Ahead is the fear of unfulfilled joy.
Back is concrete. It is only things that have already occurred. Back can be safe, secure, predictable. Back can also lead to analyzing. To taking up guilt and shame. To self-loathing.
I have spent a lot of time looking back. I replay situations in my mind where I have failed or fallen short and feel the pang of guilt all over again. I come across someone’s social media and feel shame for my past words and actions towards them. These thoughts come along when I least expect them and sting twice as hard as they used to.
Around Christmastime, Jake and I went to Reconciliation. After I had confessed my sins, the priest spoke to me about my guilt and shame. I had confessed things I thought were worse than those, yet that is what he wanted to speak to me about. It is easy to make a one-time mistake and move on, but guilt and shame don’t work that way. They invade our thoughts and change our perception of ourselves. They tell us we are unworthy. They pull us from Christ. Every sin separates us from Him but once we feel we are worthless, it is hard to come back.
The priest recommended I read a verse from Isaiah 14. Today, four months later, I found in Isaiah 54 another verse that speaks the same truth.
Do not be afraid; you will not be put to shame.
Do not fear disgrace; you will not be humiliated.
You will forget the shame of your youth
and remember no more the reproach of your widowhood.
-Isaiah 54:4
He does not want us to feel the weight of guilt nor the sorrow in shame. He WILL NOT shame or humiliate us. It is good to feel bad about doing something but, if you repent and truly ask for forgiveness, He will always truly forgive. He says so straight up in Romans 10:13 for, “Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.” And because we know that God is love (not God gives, He literally IS love) we know He keeps no record of wrongs. He will wipe your slate clean.
So, instead of looking back and taking up guilt and shame, we have to let go so we can take up joy.
James 1:2 says, “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds,” We are going to keep facing trials, friends. We are. It is unavoidable. But He wants us to count it all joy. When we get to the Heavenly Kingdom, He will be joyful with us and all the hardship will have led to eternal happiness with the One True King.
As I write this, the song “Letting Go” from the musical ‘Catholic Young Adults’ is playing in my head. We have got to let go. Lay your guilt and shame at His feet and let the Joy of the Lord fill your heart this week.
