Blessed Singleness
It’s February. The “Love Month.” It’s literally the day after Valentine’s Day. If you haven’t been so far, I promise you will be bombarded by couples professing their love on social media and influencers trying to convince you singleness is a curse they can help you cure. In this season, it can be so easy to grow jealous of your friends or family members who are getting engaged and married. It can feel like you’re behind. I promise you, you aren’t.
“But, Meghan, you’re engaged! How can you speak on singleness?!” I know, no one wants to hear about how “it gets better” and “you’ll find your person.” I am not here to say any of those things. In fact, those sentiments are pretty much entirely unhelpful. I want to tell you, from first-hand experience, how important this season of life is.
I spent years of my life seeking relationships. In high school, I dated several nice guys. Obviously, none of them were ‘the one.’ My senior year of high school, I was completely single. I had time to invest in my relationship with Christ, my friendships, and in myself, but I didn’t. I was struggling with depression and anxiety but handling it in about the worst possible way. I was making horrible decisions and falling further and further from who I was and who God wanted me to be.
Going into college, I kept falling. Two weeks into my freshman year, I began dating the first guy I met. I was already in such a fragile emotional place that, when I started dating this guy, I pretty quickly lost my entire identity. I thought I was happy. I pretended everything was fine. Something always felt missing but I never assumed it was God. My life was a mess, I had no motivation. The guy and I were constantly fighting. It took a full catastrophe to cause things to end.
When things did end, I looked around at what was left and I didn’t recognize myself. I kept asking myself why I wasn’t happy but, again, didn’t turn to God. I had too much shame. I was single, scared, and hit my lowest low. That’s when He reached down and saved me.
Isaiah 43:4 says, “Since you are precious and honored in my sight, and because I love you, I will give people in exchange for you, nations in exchange for your life.” In my darkest hour, I was still precious and honored. I was still His beloved. I began to flourish in my singleness. I found my voice. I could breathe on my own again. He was working His way into my heart, day by day, step by step. God needed me to be single to get over the obstacles that would never let me come to Him.
If you’re single, look around at your life. Ask yourself: Are you happy? Do you feel authentically like yourself or is there something missing? Write down your answers and pray on them. Offer them to the Lord and wait for His call on your heart. He doesn’t work on us all in the same way. He’ll grow you in this season. Let Him.
Also, pray for your vocation. No one call looks the same as another. He will call you on to the best things you’ll ever experience in life and that doesn’t necessarily mean marriage. Be open to His will for your life. We can fight it all we want, but His plan will always be the best path.
If you’re in a relationship, this is all good for you, too! You have to be a singular person in your relationship. In marriage, you and your spouse become one, but you are still a different person with a different call. Find ways to support yourself and your relationship that doesn’t strip you of your identity.
God moved me when I didn’t think I could be moved. He gave me strength when I felt I had none. I began surrounding myself with people who breathed life into my faith and brought me closer to Him. That season of singleness was one of the greatest blessings. Instead of looking around, wishing to be on someone else’s path, take stock of your life and be fulfilled by His divine love and His will for you.
