By the beginning of Psalms 10, the message became clear. God is hidden but still present. God may step back from the front and center portion of our life to allow for us to want and search him more. He wants to hear the desires of our heart and sometimes it takes stepping away to ask the question, do you believe I am still good? 

I didn’t know what I was worth until I stopped trying to find worth in everything that couldn’t give it to me. God, in his  kindness, had me trade in cheap worth for the confidence of having an identity firmly planted in him. No matter what I  feel, that can’t change.  

Almost every day, I marvel at how strange time has seemed to pass for the last year and a half (almost). Just recently, I was talking with a few coworkers and we all agreed that, though September is so near, it still feels like May. Time is pushing and pulling in every direction, events and deadlines are sneaking up and big decisions suddenly have to be made in what feels like a split second. As our world is slowly returning to normalcy, the pace of our lives is rapidly increasing.

We all fall short of this at times, but we have to do all we can to live for eternity rather than for the world. Things of this world can appear to be good, making us want more and think we need more. However, when we take a look at what the world is offering, we realize it will never fulfill us.

At the start of our recovery journey, we read the book “You Are Free: Be Who You Already Are” by Rebekah Lyons. One of our favorite quotes in this book is “when we become enslaved to anything, we miss out on a life of surrender and peace.”

Never in my mind was waiting, an active thing. This is where the Lord opened my eyes to a new way of thinking. I was spending some time in prayer on this idea of waiting and out of nowhere I saw a picture of an actual waiter. He was holding pen and paper and asking his guest what he could do for them. 

Have you ever walked through a valley so dark, so long, and so silent that you’ve ended up doubting if the sun exists anymore? I have. For 15 years I lived through a season of being completely hidden. Invisible, passed over, and forgotten. I was there, but not really there. I was physically in the room, but not really present. I was screaming, but not heard. Can you relate?

Truthfully we’re all just living in curiosity

I’ve wondered what this life had for me

The faith life is not immune to influencer culture and, as we’re all pretty aware by now, social media tends to be a highlight reel. Everything is posted and edited and it’s hard not to feel like we aren’t doing well enough in our faith. I’m here to remind you that you are worthy and you are enough. 

Whether you pray all the time or rarely, I think anyone can take a step back and look at their prayer habits. I took this week to really think about how I pray and what I need to change about my response to God’s answers. 

The day is here and Boldly Seeking is officially ONE!!!! I have been smiling all week leading up to this moment where our team can look back at the beginning and see how far we have come. It was a year ago today; that our team said “yes” to a call of cultivating a community to walk in Bold Faith.

God has called us to celebrate, to celebrate to REMEMBER God’s faithfulness in EVERY season of life. It can be hard to celebrate in the bad times, but it’s when we celebrate that we find joy. Celebrations like Christmas can be temporary and connect us with other people, but in those moments together, joy is produced. That joy carries us through each day so we don’t have to wait for the next celebration because we can celebrate every day, good or bad. 

I want to shed some light on something that I am certain everyone has struggled with before, and that’s self-talk. 

First, what is self-talk? It’s something we do every day, every hour, maybe even every minute. It’s that voice in your head either beating yourself up or pushing you to do your best. 

Second, let’s take a step back and ask ourselves, “Is self-talk an important thing to practice?” 

“Back” is concrete. It is only things that have already occurred. “Back” can be safe, secure, predictable. “Back” can also lead to analyzing. To taking up guilt and shame. To self-loathing. 

Isn't it such a beautiful thing to know that God chose us? We were chosen to plant seeds into others, as God made them flourish. What I mean by that is, we are all called to love one another and guide each other closer to Christ. Especially those who have yet to know Him

Habakkuk felt the weight of God’s wrath that would one day come, but it was nothing close to the heaviness Jesus felt in the Garden of Gethsemane, the night he was betrayed. Crying out to God to take the cup, but realizing that this was God’s will, the fulfilled promise that would allow for you and me to BOLDLY AND FREELY GO TO THE THRONE. 

All this distracting began to slowly distance me from the Lord. Now my comfort became my phone. Every spare moment I had alone in my thoughts, I unconsciously would hop on Instagram and scroll through the newsfeed or play games until I fell asleep. This became an unhealthy pattern I was very much aware of, but even then… I couldn’t find myself to do anything about it.

Anxiety is real, and that is no secret. An online study said that almost 70% of college-aged females discussed feeling overwhelmed with anxious thoughts. I know I am not alone when I say that I was under the false assumption that because I knew Jesus set me free, my mind would automatically align with that truth. This only led me to then bury any stress I had in order to fit the mold of what I thought a redeemed Christian ought to look like.

God wants nothing more than to be our Light. He wants to purify us in this season. He wants us to come to the altar and give Him our all. He wants to move our hearts to peace.

Last year, one of the biggest lessons I learned was about forgiveness. After holding onto anger and hurt from a friendship, I finally turned it over to God and took the next steps toward forgiveness.